3 things that will silently kill your
What is it about marriage that seems to bring out the worst in even the most amazing men and women?
And why doesn’t marriage seem to work even when some couples look perfect and destined to be together forever?
Some times, the answer to this could be as obvious as one of the partners getting carried away into infidelity. At other times, marriages are crashed for some other not-so-obvious reasons.
Below are three of the topmost marriage killers, that you won’t even suspect until it might be too late.
You don’t communicate on important matters
“Having intentional conversations about your relationship means asking deeper, more open-ended questions,” says Liz Higgins, a millenial-focused couples therapist in Texas, USA.
“I encourage the couples I work with to implement time once a week to come together and talk solely about their relationship,” she adds.
Doing this will enhance the relationship and quality of the communications you share with your partner.
The Roommate syndrome
What this means is that you have let your relationship go low to the point of seeing your husband or wife as nothing more than your roommate and you both become connected only by the need to discuss how split the kids’ school fees, how to settle home bills, pay the rent, and stuff.
This sounds pretty normal enough, but it is a slow marriage killer, says Laura Heck , a marriage and family therapist in Utah, USA.
“When you’ve fallen into the lock-step of living as roommates, you must be very intentional about shaking up your routine and bringing back the fire and passion to the relationship,” she says.
You let physical contact fizzle out
If you rarely reach out and touch each other anymore, you are in danger of having a failed marriage.
“You don’t have to be having sex every day, but some kind of near-daily sexual or erotic acknowledgement is important in relationships,” says Debra Cambell , an Australian couple’s therapist and psychologist.
“It might be the slightest touch; it’s not always about orgasms and getting hot and sweaty.
“You need to know that nobody else in your partner’s life is their chosen lover or compares to you.” she adds.
Remember the starting point of your relationship, where you did not need an invite to hold your partner’s hands, or pat their back, or plant a gentle kiss on their cheek, or lips.
To get past this, you need to roll back the years and get back to holding hands, hugging, embracing and those ‘non-sexual’ kisses. These things are strong bonding tools.